From here to Immaturity
Publisher: Simon & Shuster
Review Written: September 27, 2002
Panty Raider has got to be one of the most screwed up games for the PC. I thought <i>Leisure Suit Larry</i> was one thing, but this game takes it to the next level.
When Panty Raider’s opening movie booted up, I was at a lost for words when I got the background for this game. You see, there are these three aliens. They stole some porno magazines for their sexual desires. Eventually, they got tired of them and wanted more material, but you see, they didn’t want just any old porno, they wanted the best! So they kidnapped some photographer, and sent him out to an island to take the best photos of the hottest babes. If he doesn’t satisfy the aliens, they threatened to blow up earth.
Ok, you can stop laughing now. That story is some of the worst, unoriginal crap I ever heard of. Then again, some crap is better than none.
The movies for Panty Raider<explaining the story look great, but that’s about the only good thing for the graphics. Once you hop into a game, you’ll notice the graphics for the main part of the game look like they could’ve easily been done on the Super Nintendo. I think the developers successfully managed not to use a single polygon in the game. You have to love it when they think old school and stick with sprites. Let me tell you, these sprites rock! They have two full frames of animation! You can’t coach that! Another thing you can’t coach is the fact this game won’t boot half the time you load it up. It’s all about strategy!
The audio for this game is another thing to say “wow” about. “Wow” as in “Wow, this sucks!” The voice acting is what bugs me the most. What I want to know is why does all the aliens sound like surfers, and say “Dude” all the time? Another thing that’s intriguing is this device that says popular one-liners to attract some of the babes towards you. If lines like “I think you stole my underwear” don’t impress your average babe, than I have no idea what does. It doesn’t help either if the device saying all this has a corny English accent.
Panty Raider is a simple game. At the start of each session, the aliens give you three ladies to photograph. They want you to photograph them in specified colored clothes. Smell the strategy. So you go off to the beach with a handful of goodies provided by the aliens. You get a special x-ray camera to zoom in on the babe and to see if she’s wearing the right stuff that fits your criteria. Then you get special goop you use to throw at them, it burns their dresses off so you can get them down to their bra and panties. Once you got the criteria met, you take the picture, and run off to another area of the island.
You only got twelve minutes to get all three pictures. If you fail, the aliens will blow up Earth. The thing that doesn’t make sense to me is the fact that they always stop me with a few minutes left on my timer. This tends to tick me off because right when I’m moments away from taking my final snapshot, I’m warped to the bad ending movie where the aliens blow up Earth!
As soon as you beat one session, you have to complete a few more, and then those damn aliens will finally leave you alone! There are no extra modes available. No online modes, not even any high score rankings or anything. Oh, wait, I forgot, we can view the credits! I love seeing all the names of the people who made this pile of crap!
Game play: 5.5
Replay Value: 0.5
Avoid Panty Raider at all costs! The developers could’ve tried to make this game decent at the very least. I barely had any fun with Panty Raider, and I’m sure you will too. If you have to get your adult themed adventures somewhere, then I recommend you stick with the Leisure Suit Larry games. Some of those are at least decent
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